


¿Are we more?

by elizadun



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Friends With Benefits, M/M, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2018-10-27 01:19:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10798734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elizadun/pseuds/elizadun
Summary: Alex need to break things with Justin, what they have it's not enough, not anymore.





	1. Chapter 1

Alex couldn’t even remember how much he’d been “fooling around” with Justin Foley.It all started a while after Hannah’s death. The trial was already over, Bryce was in jail and the others had their personals punishments. Alex was in a bad time, spending time with Justin helped him. And Justin needed a place to crush. Alex didn’t care that he was just here because he needed him, because he need Justin too, by his side.

One night they were in Alex’s bedroom. Even now he doesn’t know what happened, let just say that things scalated quickly. Since then they’d been having sporadic nights, afternoons, mornings, even stops between classes. But it was just that, “fooling around”, as Justin said.

They put rules. Rule one, it stays secret. Rule two, it stays open. They could be with other people. Although Justin was with someone different every week and Alex hadn’t been with no one else since then. But that was not the point.

It was the first time Alex didn’t feel so alone in a long time. And it feeled great for a long time but now Alex decided it was better to break things, being a secret was not exciting anymore, he just needed someone to really be with. Maybe just avoiding Justin wasn’t the best idea to break things, but Alex didn’t know better. 

One sunday on the afternoon Justin texted Alex, it had been four days since they last been together, Alex even had the hope they where going different ways but at the end Justin always texted him.

 

To: Alex, 17:54  
hey, you up for tonight?

To: Justin, 19:25  
nope, helping my father w stuff

To: Alex, 19:29  
take u long answring

To: Justin, 20:11  
srry, homework

To: Alex, 20:17  
its ok, just talk to me if smthing

To: Justin, 20:54  
yeah c u tomorrow

To: Alex, 20:57  
sure, sleep well <3

Alex went offline

It was devastating to Alex treating Justin like this, but he couldn’t take it anymore. The next day he just tried to avoid him. Alex knew he would lose to a face to face. Justin’s charm was just so hard to fight.

When the classes ended Justin found Alex to the hallway, he tried to stoppted him with all his forces.

\- Standall! - the brunette shouted. Alex kept walking until Justin took him by his arm and forced him to turn around.  
\- What do you want Justin? - he answered not technically in a good mood.  
\- ¿Whats up with you Standall? ¿Did I do something wrong? I thought we were good - Concern in the brunette'ss face.  
\- Yeah, sorry. I just didn’t sleep so well, bad mood, not your fault - Justin was right, he didn’t do anything, he didn’t deserved being treated like that.  
\- ¿You sure? - Alex nodded - Okay than, this friday there’s a party. ¿You want to come?  
\- Justin, i don’t think..  
\- Sorry - Justin interrumped - I forgot to say I won’t take a no for answer. I’ll be with you all night, I promise - Justin smiled and was there when Alex knew he was fucked up.  
\- Fine, you win.  
\- I always win. Text you the information, i have to go. ¿See you tomorrow?  
\- Yeah, bye.  
\- Bye! - Justin run away not breaking eye contact even that make him hit some students. 

Maybe Alex had exagerate things, maybe Justin could change, that party was a shine of light, things finally could go the way he wanted. They would go together and be together all night. Maybe after all he didn’t have to stay apart from Justin, thank god.

Until friday Alex didn’t saw Justin a lot, only some moments in school breaks but no more. Friday in the afternoon Justin texted him about the party.

 

To: Alex, 18:42  
at 8 i’m at yours, be ready.

To: Justin, 19:13  
yes, sir. where’s the party?

To: Alex, 19:18  
At Monty’s.. 

To: Justin, 19:25  
¿For real? Fuck off Foley.

To: Alex, 19:31  
come on Standall, I’m not gonna let him come close to you, I swear. 

To: Justin, 19:43  
better be true. I’m already ready, hurry up.

To: Alex, 19:45  
coming, there in 5

To: Alex, 19:52  
im outside, get out

Alex finally came out.

\- Fuck, you’re hot - The brunette exclaimed.  
\- Shut up - Alex grinned, then Justin did that damn smile, fuck that smile, that just make him weak - You too.  
Justin kissed Alex’s cheek and take him his hand.  
\- Come on.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to that party, Justin's promises aren't worth it.

The night started fine, Alex and Justin came in, to Monty’s house, there was everyone there, it was the first party of the third year. Even Clay was there, they hadn’t seen Clay in a party since.. well, since then. 

\- You want a beer? - Justin asked. Alex was looking at Clay who was at the food table with Tony, he felt the urge to know how he was.  
\- ¿What? I mean, yeah, okay. I’m gonna talk to Clay.  
\- Okay, be right back with the beers. - Justin walked to the draught beer. Alex walked to Clay.

\- Hey Clay! Tony - He said with a genuine smile.  
\- Hey Alex - They said at the unison  
\- How are you two? - The blonde asked a little worried. - You’ve been a little off all summer.  
\- Yeah, sorry I’ve been busy with stuff, therapy and shit. - Clay answered with angry in his voice, it was obvious that he was a little bit drunk, he backed off at seeing Alex concerned look - But I’m okay Alex, really.  
\- I’m glad, really - They talked about school and stuff, Alex lost the track of Justin so he decided to go look for him. - Well boys I’m gonna go find Justin, see you later?  
\- Yeah, sure. But Alex, be careful with Justin. - Alex was a little confused by Clay’s words but he let it be.

Alex went to the draught beer, the party was even fuller. Justin wasn’t there, then he found him in the garden with Monty and the others. He decided to go other way.

He spent like an hour more with Tony and Clay, Justin just came once, to tell him to go with him and the others, drunk of course, Alex passed. And then, half an hour later there he was, Justin making out with another chick. Alex felt a rush of feelings, he was angry, really angry, for leaving him alone, for going with Monty instead of him, for making out with more and more girls, he just made him feel over and over that he wasn’t enough. But he knew, since the beginning, the deal they made. It was an open relationship, well, an open whatever they had.  
He couldn’t blame Justin, cause he accepted that. But he decided it was the time to tell the truth, speak to him and make him decide. He just didn’t want end up hating him. But now was not the time to talking to him, so instead he drank. 

The next hour Tony took care of Alex’s drunky ass when he decided to drove him home.  
But in the way they stumbled with Justin, Monty and the others.

\- Oh! Look who’s here! That little killer fag - Fucking Monty. He and all the other were laughing - Go get yourself a dick - Monty pushed him away, but all Alex could see was that fucking smile again, Justin’s.  
\- Fuck off Monty - Tony took him out of there.  
\- Oh look at this couple of fags going to fuck eachother, so sweet.

He was over. That was it, he couldn’t bear it anymore. He didn’t want to have anything to do with him. Justin didn't deserve him, he saw it then.

Alex was sit to the copilot seat of Tony’s car, he wipped the tears away to thank him. ¿When did he started crying?

\- ¿Are you okay Alex? Monty is a dick. - Tony asked concerned.  
\- I don’t care about fucking Monty - still sobbing.  
\- It is.. about Justin then? - Alex stared at the other confused, while stopped crying.  
\- ¿What about him? - He answered trying to avoid expressions at all.  
\- Come on Alex, anyone with eyes could see that you’re in love with him - Alex rolled his eyes.  
\- Yeah of course, i’m the pathetic fag that is in love with his clearly straight best friend.  
\- Let me finish - Tony interrumped - Anyone with eyes could see that you’re in love with him and he is in love with you.  
\- Well, that’s so not true either - he looked away - and I don’t care anymore, it’s over.  
\- Just take care of yourself, and if you need me i’m a call away. We’re at your home already. ¿Can you make it inside?  
\- Yeah, thanks Tony, for real - Alex get out of the car and made it to his room trying the be quiet. He put inmediately in bed.

Next morning he woke up in a hard hangover. He looked at his phone, there was messages from Tony asking if he was okay, some from Clay about te same, four missed calls from Justin and a bunch of messages.

 

To: Alex, 3:21  
ar u going?

To: Alex, 3:32  
u left for real?

To: Alex, 3:58  
yo, answr me

To: Alex, 4:39  
re u mad?????

To:Alex, 5:20  
m sorry plese forgiv mr 

To: Alex, 5:35  
<3

 

Read at 11:45.


	3. Let me go

Alex recieved a few more missed calls. He felt the urge to answer him and told him all he had inside. But he couldn’t, he just couldn’t. He knew that words wouldn’t come out if he answered.

He hated this situation, usually when someone hurts him he talks to Justin. But this time it was Justin who hurt him. It was the worst feeling.

Alex spent all day in bed, Justin’s text kept arriving, all about the same, i’m sorry and answer me. It was not this fucking simple, he wished he understood that. That night he barely slept,thinking about all the good moments with Justin, that just made it worse. 

The next morning Ales woke up by his father’s yells.

\- Alex, come here!!  
\- I’m coming - he said sleepy while going downstairs. His father was at the door with someone. - ¿who is it dad? - and then he saw him, he was not expecting that, at list at this time in the morning.  
\- Good morning son, you’re friend Justin is here.  
\- I see that. Dad, can you give us a moment? - he asked not capable of looking Justin.  
\- Yeah son, after you can come in and have breakfast.  
\- Thank you mr. Standall - Justin said politely.

\- ¿What are you doing here? - Alex said unexpressal.  
\- You didn’t answer my calls.  
\- It was on purpose, what mean that I don’t want to talk to you - Alex started to closing the door but Justin stoppted him.  
\- Wait Alex, i’m sorry about leaving you alone friday night, I was so wasted. But I promise you that next time i’m gonna..  
\- You don’t even understand ¿don’t you? - Alex interrumped painly, Justin just looked confused - Damn, your fucking clueless. I can’t even look at you right now.  
\- Look Alex i’m sorry, if I could come back.  
\- If you could come back you would do the same, maybe not that day, but another. Cause you showed me that you don’t care about me, that you prefer being manly than protect me, and things like that don’t change.  
\- That’s not true - Justin tried desperatly to take Alex’s arm but he just stepped away - I like you, you know that.  
\- ¿You like me? - Alex laughed humorless - I’m over. But I don’t hate you, I don’t want to, just need to end things. Cause i’m not okay, Justin, i’m not happy, and if you ever cared you can see that - Alex’s eyes began to tear up - So, please Justin, let me go.  
\- But Alex.. - at that time Justin was crying to - okay.. wish you the best Al. 

Alex closed the door letting himself slide to the floor and cry. He could hear Justin from outside yelling “Fuck” and punching something, which made it worse. 

That morning Alex just cried and kept convincig himself that was the best desicion.


	4. I could really use a friend

Monday at school seemed so fucking difficult for Alex to face, but he knew he had Tony and Clay, so he didn’t hesitated to ask help.

To: Tony, 8:08  
Hey Tony, could you take me to class today?

To: Alex, 8:10  
Good morning Alex! Yeah of course, Clay and me would be there at 8:40, is that good?

To: Tony, 8:11  
Yeah! Thanks Tony.

Alex came down to have breakfast, his father sat at the table, reading the paper, waiting for him.  
\- Good morning son! How are you feeling today?   
\- I’m good dad, not hungry tho - Alex said with a straight face.  
\- Could you sit please? - His dad said concerned, Alex just sat in front of him - Would you explain me what happened yesterday? It was about Justin? Did he done something to you? Is he bullying you?  
\- No! - he interrumped - It’s okay dad, we just had a fight, don’t worry.  
\- Son don't tell me not to worry when you cried all the day, please trust me son, your mother would liked for us to talk to   
eachother.  
\- Okay dad, we.. we broke up, okay? - Alex said surprising himself.  
\- Oh son i’m so sorry, but your young, it’ll pass I promise you.  
\- Yeah I know dad, can I go now? - Alex stand up.  
\- Of course, thank you for trusting me. - Alex started to go when he turned.  
\- I love you dad - He said with a middle smile.  
\- I love you more son.

Alex just felt thankful for having that father, he really missed his mother, but his father did a great job since she died.   
Alex came out, Tony and Clay waiting him outside.  
\- Good moring! Thank you for coming.  
\- No worries - the two exclaimed. Alex got in the car. Then Tony turned with concern.  
\- How are you Alex? Everything okay? - Alex nodded and look at Clay, obiously he knew too, of course Tony would tell him.  
\- Yesterday he came - Tony and Clay didn’t looked surprised - we broke up, for real this time.   
\- I’m sorry Alex.  
\- Well I’m not, I was tired, now.. now I’m free.   
\- Then good for you- Clay looked at him with sympathy.   
\- I would been easier if I had a relatioship like yours.  
\- It wasn’t always that easy you know? There was a time that I didn’t want to came out, like ever - Clay said looking intensly at Tony - but that face, the fact that I loved him more than anything at this world changed my mind - they were looking eachother with so much love, just like his father looked at his mother. That just make thing why Alex was the only one who wasn’t loved.  
\- Stop it, you’re to cute - Alex tried to hide his feelings witha smile.

Just arriving Alex had to get on his own cause Tony and Clay where in a different class. He had first period with Justin, he wasn’t ready but for his lucky Justin didn’t showed up. He hoped he didn’t come in all day but at lunch time, there he was, sitting with Monty and the others, Justin looked at him but he just ignored him. They didn’t talk the hall week, not even a hello, Justin kept trying to have contact but Alex just passed by.   
Friday morning, Alex noticed Justin, he had a black eye, Alex figured he had another fight with Monty, not new.

Friday afternoon he watched movies with Tony and Clay, he didn’t care being the third wheel, it was better than being alone, but when the night came they always left, he was always alone, the thing that most missed of Justin was the cuddles. Alex never liked the night, everything became dark in the night, the thoughts didn’t let him sleep, but when he slept with Justin, there was no worries, everything was better. 

Next week things were the same, they didn’t talk, til Thursday. They were are basketball practice, at the end Alex was called by the couch, when they finished talking he went to the locker room and there was Justin, he was putting a shirt on, Alex could see all the bruises in his torso. Alex tried not to look at him in his way to his locker, then Justin noticed him. Justin put his shoes on and walked to Alex side.

\- Alex - Alex turned - I know we’ve been distant, but we could, i don’t know, be friends or something - Justin voice was trembilng - I could really use a friend right know..  
\- I can do that - Alex looked him with sympathy, really worried about what was going on in Justin’s live but he had to be strong - You want to sit down? - Justin nodded weakly - You want to tell me how you’ve got this bruises?   
\- Seth - Alex now was fucking pissed, but he had to remain calmed - but it’s okay now, i’m not gonna see him anymore.  
\- Your mother kicked him? - he exclaimed surprised.  
\- No, I left - now Alex couldn’t hide the concern, Justin noticed - but it’s okay, I’m living with Zack, he’s a good friend, but it’s difficult to me to talk to him about this kind of things.  
\- It’s okay, you can talk to me - they we’re looking eachother when Justin tried to reach his lips but Alex pulled away - No.. Justin, just friends, if you can’t be that, then i’m gone.  
\- No - Justin rushed - no, please, it’s okay, just please don’t go - Justin’s eyes teared up, he was shaking, he was truly scared.   
\- Keep calm, i’m here - Alex put an arm around the shaking boy.  
\- Thanks Alex.

They kept there for a while but then the blonde left.


	5. I have to move on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know i'm slow but I'm back now and it's going to be more.  
>  Again sorry for the english, i'm spanish.

It passed weeks, Justin and Alex were friends, no like before but friends at least. Justin was a lot better, he was living with Zack, he was almost back to normal, he was playing basketball again, and being the star of course, he was happier. They didn’t message, they just talked at school sometimes.  
Alex was more relaxed, it’s true that he missed being with him but it was for the better.  
One day Alex went to Clay’s like almost all the afternoons, they normally played PS4 or listened to music, sometimes with Tony and other not.  
\- You want to eat something? – Clay asked him when they ended the game.  
\- Yeah, sure! I’m starving – they went to the kitchen and Alex’s phone buzzed, he saw Justin’s name on the screen, it was so long ago.

 

To: Alex, 17:34  
hey, there’s a party at Sheri’s this Friday, come it’ll be fun, bring Clay and Tony.  
To: Justin, 17:38  
i’ll confirm you  
To: Justin, 17:44  
we’ll come  
To: Alex, 17:45  
niceee

\- Why did you do that? – Alex screamed.  
\- We have to go I already said yes.  
\- I know, without my consent and with my phone!  
\- Chill Alex, it’ll be fun  
\- Yeah. So fun seeing by exboyf-Justin hooking up with every girl at the party.  
\- I though you were over him, I know what i’m gonna do, i’m gonna find you a hot guy.  
\- No Clay!  
\- It’s done, sorry.  
\- I hate you – Alex frowned.  
\- You wish.

 

Alex was preparing for the party, Clay and Tony were coming in Tony’s car.

To: Alex, 22:19  
were outside

To: Clay, 22:20  
coming

\- Fuck Standall! You look hot! - Clay exclaimed.  
\- You know I'm right here right? Tony muttered.  
\- You can not contradict me on this one honey.  
\- No I can not, it'll be easy to find a guy tonight.  
\- Oh, shut up, you both.

 

They arrived to the party, there was pretty much everybody in there, but Alex couldn’t see Justin.They went to grab a beer, and to say hello to Sheri, cause it was her party. They were talking to her but Alex wasn’t much of a friend to her.

\- Hey Standall! - A familiar voice exclaimed behind him.  
\- Oh, hey Foley - Back to the nicknames is the only thing Alex could think about.  
\- Want me to grab you a drink? - Alex looked at his beer hoping it was empty, but he didn’t even had a sip.  
\- I already have one.   
\- Okay then, see you later?   
\- Yeah sure - And like nothing Justin was already talking to another girl. 

Then Alex was sure, he had to move on, he had to accept Clay’s offer.  
\- Clay? I’m in - Clay looked at him confused until he realized.  
\- Yeah? Tony!!! Come here, we have work to do.  
\- Count me in - Tony said excited.  
\- I thought about Ryan - Clay whispered carefully.  
\- Ryan? Really? Because is the only gay guy you remember, no? For fuck’s sake he’s unsufferable, no offense Tony, oh and he’s Tony’s ex.   
\- Okay, okay, sorry. Oh fuck! - he exclaimed - Of course! A week ago a guy transfered from another school, he’s a year older, he’s super hot, and guess what.. He’s bi!  
\- That’s better.   
\- I’m gonna ask Sheri if he’s here, she’s the one who told me he’s bi, i think he’s in her french class - And Clay disappeared in a second, just to come back in less then a minut - He’s here! I saw him, he’s outside. Come! - And grabbed Alex’s arm. 

They went outside almost running. Clay pointed at a tall guy, black hair, with a lether jacket, he was backwards.  
\- It’s him. Okay we have to think in a plan - Clay stared at the sky with a thinking face for a minut till he talked - Oh, shit. He’s coming. What did I do? I’m so good at this.   
\- I know him - Alex whispered almost unhearable.  
\- What?   
\- Alex Standall? - the guy exclaimed.  
\- Scott Miller? - Alex said with a friendly face ignoring Clay’s confused look.   
\- I knew you came to this school but is hadn’t seen you yet and i don’t have your phone..  
\- And why did you move?  
\- Same as you men, my father..  
\- Yeah I know, it’s shitty  
\- It is - they kept a moment in silent, and then Scott looked at Clay and Tony, who were there all the time - you’re gonna introduce me to your friends?  
\- Oh yeah, this is Clay and Tony - they exchanged handshakes.  
\- How you two know eachother? - Clay asked.  
\- We were at the same school. I was at the band and he was the quarterback at the football team, we just met one day and become friends.  
\- Well, we met.. - Scott laughed - you hit on me.   
Clay looked at Alex confused and almost proud with a little smirk.  
\- That’s not true! - Alex punched his arm.   
\- You touched my butt!   
\- It was by accident! And I didn’t see you complain..   
\- Never - Scott said winking.  
\- Stupid - Alex muttered with a smirk.

They talked for a while, and then Alex went to see Clay. 

\- Hey Clay, whats up?  
\- What are you doing here? Why aren’t making out with that hot guy,who by the way is so into you.   
\- He’s not into me.  
\- Don’t look back but he’s looking - Alex looked back anyways, Scott smiled to him.   
\- Okay, maybe he’s a little into me, but what.  
\- But what? - Clay exclaimed - fuck him.  
\- You’re such a slut Clay. And i’m not ready for another relationship.   
\- Enough, look there - Alex followed Clay’s look to find Justin hooking up with a girl.

Alex didn’t say a word and went to Scott.

\- This party is really boring, I think i’m going home.  
\- You want me to take you?  
\- That would be great.

**Author's Note:**

> It will be more, of course


End file.
